Ask The Expert Advice Column

Dr Hill,

Question: I dream about being a woman, but when I read about taking hormones or surgery, I get really nervous. Is that the only way to be a woman?

Answer: Taking hormones and having surgery are not the only way of being a woman. Being a woman has nothing to do with the body. Our gender is an internal sense of ourselves, separate from the body or biological sex. I know transgender women who have chosen to do only hormones, only surgery, both hormones and surgery, and neither hormones nor surgery, and they all live as females in the world. They are women regardless of how their bodies look. You have the right to be the woman you are and to choose how you want to change your physical body as appropriate to your unique needs.

106 days ago

Dr Hill,

Question: I've kept my cross-dressing secret from my wife for years now. I want to know if I should share it with her?
Answer: This is a very common question and situation in my experience. And it is such a hard one. The timing of this is dependent on so many factors. However, I find that you will know if and/or when to tell her by the level of distress you feel by not telling her. Usually, there comes a time when the distress of not saying something overcomes the fear of saying something. Usually this means that your need to be open to her or your need to be more intimate with her has increased to a point that you need to share this part of your world with her. If you decide it is time, then before you do, I would make sure that you have support ready for yourself in case she does not take it well. This support should be in the areas of emotional support, physical support, and perhaps financial support just in case your relationship is not strong enough to last this disclosure. Finally,
I would also make sure you have as much clarity as possible about what your cross-dressing means to you, so you can easily help her understand where you are coming from. I would suggest consulting with a gender specialist first if you can. It is a very courageous and important act in one's marriage life.

106 days ago

Dr Hill,

Question: If I have sex with another guy who is wearing lingerie , does that mean that I am gay?
A: No, it does not mean that you are gay. It just means that you enjoy having sex with another guy who is wearing lingerie. Really. However, if you find that you primarily enjoy having sex with male bodied people, regardless of the clothing, then we should talk about the possibility of you being gay

106 days ago

Dr Hill,

Question: I've been cross dressing a lot more lately, and I feel more and more like I am female.
Can you help me understand what is happening to me?
A: It sounds as if you are feeling that cross-dressing is associated to gender for you. It is common for many men who cross-dress to feel feminine and to have a strong need to honor the feminine side of themselves in this way. And to some, it can begin to move into the gender realm where it feels more like being female instead of feeling feminine to them. It may be helpful to read transgender stories or connect with others who identify as transwomen to see if you relate to them or their experience in the world. I always think it is helpful to connect with others who have similar life experiences, so that we don't feel alone in what we are dealing with.

106 days ago

Dr Hill,

Q: I've always wanted to wear women's clothing and I'm not sure what it means?
A: Well, many people like to wear clothing of another gender. Notice I said another gender instead of just the other gender. There are actually many more genders that just the commonly stated male and female. Nowadays, we recognize that there is a complex spectrum of genders that our society needs to learn about and integrate with respect. What this means to each person is often different. I would start by inquiring to yourself about what it means to you emotionally, mentally, physically and even spiritually. How does it make you feel to wear women's clothing and how do you feel afterwards. I am assuming that it has a positive effect on your life and on your well-being. You may want to think about whether this is sexual primarily or does it relate to your gender or does it feel just like an important part of yourself to express separate from sexuality or gender. It is helpful to understand this distinction for yourself and your own self-acceptance. Regardless, I am hoping that you are able to honor your feelings with respect and acceptance instead of self-judgment. We get too much of that from society--there is no need to judge ourselves.

106 days ago

Mrs Lovings Latest Sissy Training and Feminization
SEE MORE HER E